Just This Love, 051106

I felt so guilty towards my precious baobeiix. Even when I'm alone sometimes, i think that I've made her so lonely. I'm truly sorry my precious.

I kept so many things to myself, i didn't really know how to express my words out. I'm so afraid that i will say the wrong things sometimes, but i just feel so blessed whenever i see a smile on your cute little face.

You always made me feel so great no matter rain or shine. Never one day in my life i can miss chatting with you. I just feel that something is lost the days we missed chatting on the phone, talking lots of crap.

Precious, sometimes I'm truly sorry for making you so alone. I will spend more of my time with you =D. My love for you will never ever change.

Love for eternity.
051106
Just the two of us.

Santa clause is coming to town~~~

O my, its another Christmas once again...

Santa Santa, Thanks for Christmas present you gave me for the second year. For the second year, I'm spending my Christmas with my dearest Baobeiix by my side. All i want for Christmas every single year in my life is just to have Baobeiix by me.

I always had the best present with Baobeiix by me. =D

Wow, i got a wonderful card of Baobeiix. Two stick mans, and words of love... I really feel the same way towards you darling. I'm seriously so into you, so in love with you. Nothing can pull me away from you. I really love the wonderful times we had together. I love you, for eternity.

Thanks Baobeiix. You're the best present Santa had for me this Christmas again.

Loves 051106

My guilt is rising every single day. I'm just such a loser in time management. I lost to "TIME". Why?

Why can't we have more than 24 hours a day? I just felt so bad not able to accompany darling. My own things keep coming along and i just neglected her for the weekends. How? How can i describe this feeling? I just feel so.......

No words is able to describe what I'm feeling right inside me. I feel so bad, such a loser.

I'm really sorry, truly truly sorry my darling. I will make time for you as soon as i can. I'm seriously sorry. =((

I love you.

Holidays started today, while everyone is cheering for it... I'm worried. I don't really want to go back to school so soon. I'm afraid, real afraid that my results would turn out so bad. I didn't really put in loads of effort this term test. I'm seriously filled with guilt.

Seems to leave my blog alone these few days... Its the term test period and while everyone is mugging hard. My brain is shutting down. Monday was Maths paper, oh gosh, i dun even have the confident to say i will clear that paper.

How about Tuesday? Net fund. I'm confident, its a serious goner. Argh! My holy god. Give me the power! I don't want to have 4 supp papers coming to me at the end of the semester. Anyway, Friday is coming really soon.

Its the end...

But...

I just have so many things in my head...

School is really making me go mad...

Something set me thinking for a moment.

Hawy, Jinx and I were sitting at the pavilion near my house. We were approached by a stranger and he started taking his seat and chat. He talked about his life, how difficult was he living in Singapore, how difficult is it for him to find a job...

He even said that he wanted to commit suicide a number of times but was eventually alive again. I can't believe my ears when i heard him saying he wanted to witness his suicidal mission. A shiver was really casted down my spine at that moment of time.

That person eventually went up saying, "I think I'm confident to do it now." "IF" i were to eye witness that scene, my nightmares would never ever end for years. God gave everyone of us a life, we have one life, live it.

Every path of survival is carved out by our own hands. Fate cannot bring you anywhere for sure. If you just choose to end your life like that, is it fair to the people around you? Is it even fair to God who gave you a chance to be on planet earth?

Some beings didn't have the chance to live past their twenties or even their tens. If you can live through your thirties, why is it that you do not cherish your lives like what others do?

This taught me a real hard lesson. I learnt how precious was life at the same time, what life is going to bring us in the near future. I learnt how difficult life was going to be in Singapore in the near future. The high standard of living, the competition for jobs, everything...

I will work hard to carve out my path of survival.

Term test is starting next Monday. O my, studies is making my head blow. Almost everyday i overcome the burning temperature and walk to school. The temperature is really making me go bonkers. Who knows one day i may faint of heat stroke...

My energy level is getting lower and lower as each day passes by. I get so tired so easily nowadays. I wasted money today =( . I took a cab to school early in the morning. $5.60! Just from my house to school. O my, why did i have to wake up late in the morning!

I'm really really tire out.

It has been a "period" of time since i ever touched blogging. It's another Monday. Monday states another week of school, another week of stress. Life at home hasn't been well these few days. Mum and Dad were quarreling over a few little problems. Arguments would often arise when they swap pointers with each other.

Happy birthday mum. I didn't meant to make you upset. It pains me when i see your tears rolling down your cheeks. I know, bringing a defiant child up isn't the best thing to do. I'm sorry for the things I've done to make you so upset.

God, listen to my prayer. Spare me some happiness and health. Give it to the most important woman of my entire life. The one who has tolerated me for 18 years, the one who was there when i had no one to turn to, the one who was there when i met a setback, the one who will be there for sure throughout my entire life.

Happy birthday mum.

May your wishes come true this birthday. Although there's nothing much that i can really do for you, i will try my very best to never make you upset again. I can't choose the family i want to be in, but since I'm here. I will put in my entire best to become a better son.

I love you, mum.

Anyway, Net fund quiz was quite a goner today. However, we found something interesting in the Net fund lab. Our group of 4, had 4 lucky terminals. There were counter-strike in our terminals. O my, holy shit. Of course, we abide to the rules and played it after we done our lab.

Such a nice lesson we had. Its the first time, we decided to stay in the lab till the lesson end. Our facilitator had to rush us all out. Indeed, indeed.

Was trying to survive in school today. I certainly hate Mondays, 9-6 is an entire killer. Anyway, i got cheered up during maths tutorial by Terence's videos. I almost laughed out my stomach, gosh that video was really hilarious. I managed to find it on youtube. I'm gonna post it no matter what. =D.

It's about some Japanese Prank. Darling did have a great laugh over the phone also when she saw the video. O my O my.

Net fund quiz is coming up tomorrow. My mind is blank. I flip over the pages of my net fund book, nothing is absorbed. Please, let everything get inside my mind, please!

I put a tiny weeny small counter in my blog. To my surprise, i found out that is counted up to 34. That means, 34 different Ip address viewed my blog. With 34 different people viewing my blog, why on earth are there only two tags?

Anyway, caught game plan with darling yesterday. There was entirely no much cinemas showing that movie. Shaw Prince was one of the choices, but but... =D I shaldn't carry on any further. Our last resort, we caught it at Bedok princess.

Its a must watch movie anyway, the plot, the filming, the story, the actions. It brought out a wonderful story about a father who was self centered, and meeting up with his long lost daughter.

Wonderful, totally. Anyway, i stop here for the day. Leave a footprint if possible. Thanks alot.

Nothing is in my mind. There is nothing to pen down. I'm blank =D.

Love doesn't make the world goes round, its the ride that makes it worthwhile.

Quizzes are coming on next week. Think i better get started with mugging.

It has been as if decades since i ever heard you sound your unhappiness towards this issue. Every single time that name is mentioned, i know your voice would entirely change. I can sense it, but i chose to keep very quiet every single time.

Some problems can't be solved forever.

The only solution to me is that we keep moving forward. Life changes single day of our lives. The earth will never stop revolving for any one of us. Time and tide waits for no men. Even if we turn back time, the problem is still floating around.

I didn't regret it at all. Didn't once would i ever bear to see you leaving. Never once would i ever want to see you upset. Every time when you're feeling upset, i told myself i should be the one there to cheer you up, to light up your day once again.

I didn't feel any unfairness at all. I'm serious. I put myself in your shoes, i know the stress you're going through. The caught in between is something no one could ever take.

I love you, no matter what it takes. I will never want to lose you, no matter what price I'm going to pay.

2 employers contacted me,right after my semester started. What holy crap is this?

I was in lecture when i got an id withheld call. Picked it up and the first thing i hear was, "Hi, This is calling from golden village. Are you still interested in the job you applied for?" I was stunned, thinking why did you call me just so long after i applied?

Of course i did say i was interested in the job. But something went really wrong when i said, "I'm schooling right now." I can imagine, the person feeling while she was holding on to the telephone. She immediately replied,"Oh, this case ar... *Carried on with alot of crap* ended with.... Alright, i'll call you back".

God knows when she's going to call back ya? Anyway, my school hours are quite corrupted. Although not very long hours, but Monday is seriously a torture. Guess what? I checked my email just now and found that i had a reply from an employer.

It was a telemarketing job that i applied for really long time ago. He replied that he had just came back from overseas and would need an admin for two months. $6 per hour! $10 per secure appointment! BUT BUT BUT BUT!

*Weekdays office hours*

My heart really fell down from the 7th floor. No words could ever describe my feelings. Why on earth? Do you have to choose this timing to reply back to my mail? Why on earth? O MY!

Found myself to be in the wrong side of life. While everyone is sleeping like a log, i am here blogging.

I'm so tired. I feel so lethargic. I hate school, i really hate it going to school. But without school, without education, I'm nothing,entirely nothing. This is what life Singapore is giving. Just for that piece of paper?

Is this what life is going to be for the rest of my life? Shucks.

I hate it. But i have one. Give me a good go, or take it away please...

Fridays marks another day of school. My mood for school hasn't really been well. I just can't find any interest for school at all. This is getting real boring. Anyway, i went to my physcology tutorial for the first time. The subject itself was fun yet difficult.

So many bombastic terms were used. O my, am i going to survive in this particular cds? I really hope so. We were grouped up and unfortunately, I was slotted into a group randomly. Guess what? I got a really really indescribable group member.

I can't point out his faults, but i really can't stand the wild imagination he has. Imagine you want a screwdriver to shoot out flame like a flamethrower? Wow, he really has the similar character as one of my classmate. *Guess who?*

I'm no far better anyway, i know that myself. Has been so so so 'nua'(hokkien word for lazy). Hoping to catch a movie this weekend with my precious. Anyway, i had been watching a drama named "Attack no. 1" by Aya Ueto. A Japanese volleyball drama which was played on Cable Tv before.

It made me sososo, into volleyball? Nah, I'm joking. Although i got some thunder spikes, some great serves which no can do. *Giggles*.

Alright. My blog is turning stale soon. Motivate me to update more! Tag more people. I would really love your tags although i seldom reply. I'm always reading!

Today is 4th of November. Guess whats the date tomorrow?

It may be just another normal day to anyone else. It's certainly more than just a special day to me. These 365 days, our soul has always been in my heart. No matter how tough the day gets, thinking of you made me move forward.

I remembered. We started out before our first day of the o levels. A unique time that made the whole world envious of. We struggled through our first month, almost coming to a verge of breaking. I held my words back. I didn't say anything, i didn't want to watch you leave.

Many obstacles came stumbling on us. Although some are never going to be solved, i still see your blossom smile every single day. You never failed to make me smile, you never failed to make me laugh, you never failed to make me tear. Just like what i always do to you.

No matter how many quarrels we had before, we always put things back at one again. We are going to have our one year anniversary. Tomorrow, its just tomorrow. So many things were stopping us back then , so many tounges were wagging , some people jumped to conclusion that we can't get this far.

Yes, we did it! I love your presence, your 'disturbances', your understanding.

Thank you all this while, thanks for the love that you have showered me with. Thanks for the understanding u gave to me. Thanks for always tolerating with my mistakes, with my nonsense. Thanks for everything.

Darling. I love you. From the day you stepped into my life, i told myself i was never going to let you go.

Happy 1 year.

Its great. The feeling was certainly great. Slacking around with some of my greatest cliques was my desired weekend.

I shopped something for my one year gift. A surprise for darling on Monday. Time flies just so fast. In the blink of an eye. 365 days has passed, thousands of hours flew past, but our love still carrys on.

I wish, i wish. I wish for an eternal love. I wish for a love that would never end. I wish for a love that is perfect. Give me your hand, we will get there. Get to the paradise which is specially tailored for the two of us. Just the two of us.

It would be a really pleasant surprise indeed.

Happy birthday to Jon. Hope you will enjoyed your sweet 18. Finally, you can watch 300 at princess without taking my ic and being scolded by the crazy auntie. Excited ya? You're on the journey of no return =D.

Wow, hasn't been really blogging these few days. Too bored to do anything. Even at school, my mood of studying has drop to rock bottom. Every single day, you stress about what you wear to school. When you're bathing, you're already thinking about other people perception about your dressing.

Sometimes, it just cant get off my mind. How i really wish that we are able to wear a school uniform like before. I know this can't happen, but... its just one of my wishes.

Life didn't turn out well for me yesterday. I was so sick that i fell onto my bed at 10pm. I set my alarm at 12 to be online. I didn't wake up. I just woke up at 12.40am to stop my alarm from ringing. I could imagine how irritated was my brother while he was sleeping.

I woke up today at 10am! 12 hours of sleep. Wow, and i still felt sick. My whole throat was 'corrupted'. Almost lost my voice today, what a stupid day.

I'm really sick about what life is bringing me...

I came across this video in school today. Turn up your volume =D.

Btw, Hu jintao is the leader of china.

Wow, it was a really really tiring day for me. I didn't really get to sleep the whole night on Tuesday. My lessons were at 8 on Wednesday. It was just my stupid body clock that made it so. I shouldn't have adjusted it in this manner. I felt so regretful.

So many things, i never ever took the effort to think about it. But I've decided to work this weekend. Money can't really buy everything in the world, but at least, money can buy MOST things in the world. I need it, to buy my new clothes, my needs...

One particular thing has set me thinking. I shouldn't have done that, i should have put in more effort, more time... Darling, ilu. I'm truly sorry.

Today marked the first day of my school once again, wasn't any pleasant as I'm so so not excited to go back to school once again! The studies and studies and studies can really make me go mad. Anyway, today was 9-6. I think it should be the suckiest time ever for any ordinary person.

Can you imagine! First day and they are already throwing us with examples after examples for maths! O my, I hate school! I love darling instead. =D

I noticed something while i was working today. Everyone was rushing against time. I seriously hate the fact that we really need to keep up to time. Even as we go to the public toilets, we were also in and out in a hurry.

Why can't we just stop down and relax? To even use the gents or the ladies? Must we have a time limit for our usage of the gents and ladies? My god, this really suck big time. Time is money, money is time? Yea, it is. But how i wish sometimes time will really pass by faster as we are working. =D

Work is seriously shagging the hell out of me. Anyway, the sales at Tampines mall was like 5++ times worst then that of Tiong Bahru. But i can admit i did slack so much! Sorry my beloved darling. Her sick smile on her face really made my day as always.

She would always entertain me with some lame craps like what,

Dear:"Hey, i ask you one question!"
Me: "What?"
Dear: "Why is the ocean blue?"
Me: "You might as well ask me chicken come out first or egg come out first."
Dear: "Dun lame leh, I tell you answer."
Me: "Ya?"
Dear: "Cause ar, the fish inside ocean always do this..... 'blueeee, blueeee, blueeee'
Me: "................................................................. HAHAHAHAHA "

If not, she would always come and pinch my hand and ask me,

Dear: "EH, BABU SIMI SEK?"

English translation not available due to some which may be racist comment. LOLS

Anyway, these two days were tired yet fun with that precious darling of mine.

Loves! Our one year is coming!

There are so many things revolving in my mind. These few days, or should i say these few busy days. Darling and i worked our Saturday and Sunday out. It was a position of a sales promoter for eight days and i weekly.

And of course it was real fun working and disturbing my darling. See her irritated face. You would laugh when she keep saying, "Don't keep follow me las!". Omgs. =D

She's so tired out these few days. Those job interviews, those uts. Rest well my precious, we will spend more time chatting =D.

School is starting real soon. Holidays are finally going to be over. I hope i will motivate myself to work harder this coming semester. I don't want to take any more supp paper again. I'm too afraid of it. The mistake made me sososososososososo afraid of supp paper.

Anyway, i be there. When you need me. You still can throw your troubles to me. I'm willing to be a listening ear, i promise.

Loves <3

I'm sick and tired of it. I'm seriously washing my hands of it.

Tell me, whats the use of Maplestory? I somehow neglected my loved ones because of it, i seriously remorseful about it. Darling, i thought it over. I rather spend more time with rather then playing some stupid 2D rpg game.

I had enough, i truly had enough. God, save me from this bloody obsession. I'm truly truly sick and tired of wasting my time to it. I know i will be better if i can break free from it.

I found out the mystery behind the $10 dollars in my house. After searching for every clue possible, i came to this conclusion. My idiotic brother took it.

He admitted at last of course, and i swear i wont ever ever treat him like before again. He made me lost the trust in him. One time after another. What is really the problem here? Can i say temptations?

I'm really in a lost of mind. I feel that i just can't seem to teach him well. No matter how much beatings, scoldings or whatever threatening he got. He cant seemed to learn? What method should we imply to make him not do the same old mistake again? We tried every ways and means, but it all ended up failing.

What should i do?

Take a look at some of the playgrounds near your house. You might see a scene of young kids play with the slide, running around. It's seriously a wonderful scene. Thinking back of the days when we were as young as 3 or 4 years old.

Our life was all in black and white. Life was either about right or wrong. We were only taught what were the things we should do and what were the things we should not do. Wasn't life great in this manner? Not even a single worry, a single burden.

But as the years gradually goes by, the black and white areas of our life slowly merge as one. It turned into Grey. The Grey that caught us in the middle of some things. The Grey that can't make us differante from right or wrong.

Life was indeed terrible. Burdens and worries were all flowing in and out. How i wish, how i really wish.

=D Our lovely 11 months.

Dear, happy 11 months. HEHE. Its been a blessing with you always here by my side. Who can ever replace your presence? No one can ever do that. These 11 months, i learnt alot more about life, more about love.

Darlin, if you gave me one chance to tell you how i was feeling. I would hold and your hand and look into your eyes, and you know i would never let you go.

Surprisingly, i lost $10 in my very own house. I don't even know whats happening. I seriously don't.

After what seems like eternity, i got back my supp paper results.

I went to reach for my cellphone to check for messages or miss calls.

And up to my surprise, i saw my supp paper results! It was a pass. O my, i was so so so excited. =D. Thank god, my effort didn't gone down the drain. =D

I decided to do nothing but to blog out my thoughts.

After much thinking, i came to this conclusion. Darling, its really my wrong to multi-task while chatting on the phone. I mistaken you for being busy at times because of the tone you used, the way you talked.

I didn't really meant it. But, sometimes, its really difficult for me to tell you something like, "Darling, if you really tired. Please go to sleep." I said it once, i said it twice, i said it thrice, i carry on and on. I really don't want you to be tired out.

Sometimes, you would think that i didn't want to talk to you because i want to carry on playing my game without your disturbance. It's not correct.

I know you want to recover the times that we actually are chatting much more. I would also love to do that.

After your school, you would sometimes come back and tell me how tired are you. It really hurts me when i know that you are actually fighting your tiredness just to carry on chatting with me. It touched me, but on the other hand it hurts me even more.

I know, nowadays i kept multi-tasking. I'm truly sorry.

I know sometimes i casted my attitude, my unpleasantness on you, darling. I would not do that again.

I really have so many things in the same time to do. I'm in a game, I'm chatting on the phone, my house is full of shouting, my mum's nagging.

I would not let this happen again.

I will, I sorry, my darling.

Found out that i was indulging too much of my time in a game, hence neglecting my darling somehow. I'm sorry!

I hope it would get better as the days goes by. =D

Wow, I'm always having late night sleeps. O my, my body clock is really tuning to a time of no return. Anyway, haven't blogged anything about the supped paper. I was so scared when i walked out of the examination hall. I didn't have much confidence at all.

But at least, i knew how to do the paper better than the main examination.

O levels are coming right up for secondary schools. Jia you. Dun ever give up on any subjects .

Alright i think i'll stop here.

Darling, Our 11 months!

Supp paper is over today. Haven't really slept yesterday night, my whole mind was all about that paper. I was thinking and recapping all the formulas i have learnt. O my. Please, let me off this time please!

Wow, Mr hawy was online today. Even had a phone call from china. Wonder what he meant by he is 'GOD' there!

Darling, as for your school life, you have to adapt to the surrounding no matter what comes. The first day you stepped into republic, your first class. Did you have the same impression as well? "Haiya, my class is so boring."

Its the same thing, look forward to school. We have to move out from our comfort zone some day. We are just making more interaction in life.

Prove what you can do to your facilitator. When they say you can't do it, prove it to him that you can!

Anyway, Darling no matter what happens. I will be here for you. But please, dun combat me with your skills learnt at kick boxing!

Loves!

Tomorrow is the supplementary paper!

Omgs, Please don't let it be a disappointment like the main examination again. Please!!!!

WOW, Life is so shagged.

After attending the supp paper revision on Monday, i went to look at myself in the mirror. Guess what i saw? A dinosaur. HEHE. A stupid one indeed. I found out that the main exam paper wasn't that difficult after all.

I must PASS my Supp! Please, Let me do so!! Please don't shock me with questions i never see before again!

Any jobs for sale? Really need one to make ends meet.

"When I'm down and troubled.
And I need a helping hand
And nothing, nothing is going right.

I'll close eyes and think of you
And soon you will be here
To brighten up even my darkest nights.

I'll just call out your name,
And I know wherever you are
You'll come running
To see me again.

Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
All I have to do is call
And you'll be there
I've got a friend.

If the sky above me
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that strong wind should begin to blow
I'll keep my head together and call your name out loud
And soon you will be knocking upon your door.

Isn't it good to know that I've got a friend? "

I'll count down the days, the day where you will return.

Ha, He must be waiting at the Shenyang airport now i supposed.

Send me an email occasionally to let me know that you're fine. =D

Just got a big helmet yesterday. It's always my dream =D. I got a picture of it.



But never mind, went swimming today. Felt great after making myself stationary for such a long time. Wow, the sudden exercising is really so.. refreshing.

I got a wish, i wish i would slim down really soon =D.

Results are out just tomorrow. Anyone cares to know? like my darling?

=D

I'll stop here.

Loves~

Somehow promised myself to blog almost everyday. Here i am, doing it right now.

Spent $95 today, on the computer. O my, $45 dollars for setting up my windows for me? I might as well open a computer shop beside you and charge $35 for each? Anyway, they're doing it almost everyday. =D

Wow, i'm really in the desperate mood of finding a job. Guess what, i got this advertisement from the net. It was a photocopy shop named "Copyland" near my house. I contacted the person by phone and found out that he had a really really big attitude problem !

Even by phone i have guessed it. What more, when i got down to the shop, the boss was like overreacting!

This was what happened.

Me: "Hey, i'm the person who called for the job application."

Mister Attitude: "YEA, CAN YOU START WORK TODAY?" *Apparently, he was already shouting across.*

Me: "I wasn't informed about it~ I got an appointment later." * Of course i had to bluff my way through. *

Mister Attitude: "So when can you come tomorrow?"

Me: "Anytime you need me sir." *I was already on the verge of giving up the job*

Mister Attitude: 'Bangs the table' "DUN ASK THIS KIND OF QUESTION,JUST ANSWER ME A TIME".

Me: "10"

Mister Attitude: "Alright, you want help me with stapling s for half and hour?"

Me: "No thanks, I be back tomorrow" *In my mind, i was like going.... Whu cares?*

His attitude is really really really o my goodness. Never mind. Downloaded golden village application form . Considering ~ Considering~ Considering~

Haven't been frequently updating. My com Crashed!!! My computer is in the danger zone, waiting in the queue to be dispose of.

I found myself to be so dependent on computers itself. Without it, i feel so totally boring !

Yea, anyway. I love to blog about events days before. =D

Darling and I celebrated our 10th month 2 days ago. It was so wonderful. She must have loved it alot ya? Guess what, i was actually keeping the secret for so long. I didn't want to tell her that i was actually planning a laser message for her down at the fountain of wealth at Suntec.

Unfortunately, the laser message was only for Friday, Saturday and Sundays! This is so so so holy man! At least, at least, i managed to surprise her with a song dedication =D.

While walking to the machine to dedicate the song. I was like thinking so long for what song will suit the event. This suddenly came to my mind! "A moment like this, some people wait a lifetime...."

HAHA. Know who sang it? It's Kelly Clarkson.

O my, it was so lucky that dear didn't been moved to tears. =D IF NOT! WE Will see the fountain of wealth flooded with her tears! WAHAHA. Suntec should thank darling ya?

Anyway, that day was really wonderful . Thanks for always being there for me dear. =D

I will love you till the end of time. 05.11.06

The sorrow in your voice lurks out how you felt. The dried up tears on that face of yours, shows how much you're attached to that phone.

I know how you felt. Just like i felt it too. I have nothing to say, i just can't bring my words out of my mouth. To tell you, "Dear, dun cry, dun be sad" I know you will be hurt even even more. It was really the mermories that were brought away.

You will overcome this thing. Life still carrys on, my precious. No matter what happen, i will always be here standing by you. Don't ever ever scold yourself, you didn't want it to happen either.

You're not irresponsible, neither were you careless. You were just too inoccent.

The pain in my heart was equally unbearable...

!!! WENT BACK TO JUNYUAN SEC TODAY~

Concert wasn't appealing at all. It was just like what we had last time. It's sooooooo BORING. At least met up with some old classmates.

They were all LAME!

A conversation striked out between mrs ramos and us:

Mrs ramos : "Where are you guys currently studying?"
Some of 4e5: "Tp, Sp, Np, Nyp, Rp"
Mrs ramos: "O so no one is taking geography ya?"
Some of 4e5: "Cher, GEography lies in OUR heart!"
Mrs ramos: "O MAN, I FIND IT SO HARD TO BELIEVE IT!"

OMGS.

It was really exciting.

Nothing really much today. My eye bags are getting bigger and bigger.

=D

I already planned for our 10th month darling.

GIving you a surprise then!


Loves051106
hUgs AND kIsses.

Engine fund was quite well done today.

The feeling of confidentally passing up the paper was truly wonderful. It was the first ever paper i would say its easy. O my god. AM I SMART?

Of course not, i studied SSSSSSSSSSSo hard for this paper today.

Maths was an entire failure for me. =( To me, IT WAS SO DAMN IT FCUKED IT DIFFICULT!

Can i pass my supp paper please. I really do not want to retake maths again. Maths sucks. I wan to go through 1st year, and there would not be maths anymore! HOORAY.

Haven touched blogging for quite long. Busy with some things. SOME THINGS.

Never mind, as always ! I promise to blog more in the future ok? I know there are many viewers. HAHAHAHA.

ALL my fans are waiting for me to blog !

Ok, i stop here as a post today. I update you more about my exams results~

=)

Loves051106

Wow, exams are drawing near on monday. But me?

Haven been doing any productive this whole week. Maybe slacking this week away ba. So difficult to find it to study when examinations are just 2 days away.

I wish to have more rest!!!

Just another lab test this friday and we're off to our study week.

Just what got into me, i feel so tired so easily. I seemed to have no mood in every single thing. I'm sorry darling. I love you for sure.

I know you'll understand me.

LOVES!.

National day, its NATIONAL DAY once again! Chunks of red and white are being spotted all over our city, our nation. Wishing Singapore a happy 42th birthday! Continue to prosper, I love you Singapore!

Wow, just got back my maths quiz yesterday. It was really dissapointing, how sad i was. I failed it once again... I had to rely on my supplementary papers now. I don't wanna retake the module, please! Someone help PLEASE!

I hate MATHS! FROM PRIMARY TO SECONDARY AND TO POLY!

OMGS! MATHS MATHS GO AWAY, COME AGAIN ANOTHER DAY!

Please, I WAN TO PASS WAHAHA.

Finally, my semester is coming to an end. I wish, I would have a nicer holiday. =)

Dear, I love you. WAHAHAHA.

Presentation for wrtoral was done today. Although i finished my speech with my hands vibrating, it was a burden off my mind. As least, i knew i passed that subject. WOOHOO~

The feeling was so wonderful delievering a speech. The feeling was really, errr... OMGS!

One project down, another deadline coming up. All cramping up together, quizes, projects. =( How i really wish i can not study for the rest of my life. =)

That's wishful thinking ar.

I just found out that i useed my all my energy. Bye guys~ I'll continue tomorrow. =)

Its been a long and worthy journey, now I come beside you girl.
Cheering you up when you’re sad, cleaning your tears when you cry.
Always laugh with you when you’re happy, I know it’s me you confine in.
I’ll always be there for you, till death do us part.

One ‘I love you’ from you, makes my day brighter.
With the touch of your smile, with the loving hugs you gave.
With the sweet kisses from your lips, my world is just nothing without you.
Girl, you’re my everything.

Nothing can replace you.
That’s why I love you,
I love you anyway.

Missing you is inevitable,
Loving you is just so wonderful…
Girl, you’re way too lovable.

If you give me one chance to tell you,

How I was feeling.
I would hold your hand
And tell you I wont live my life
WITHOUT YOU~

OUR LOVING 9 MONTHS

~Ivan LOVES Eileen~

05.11.06

Loves till eternity.

Life's well, with darling everything is just so perfect.

Great apologies for not turning up on Saturday. Had a hangover.

Wow, I'm really not cut out for drinking. Although an occasional drinker, i would be lying on the ground feeling dizzy at around a sip or two. Isn't this fun? Wow, that feeling is~~ Totally, WOO. Not that great after all.

Anyway, another week of studying is approaching. O my, how i wish the exams would be pushed back further. My limps would always turn cold when my mind is thinking of the exams... I don't want to fail, but the thought of failing is inevitable.

Books after books, notes after notes. I'm like stuck in a middle of a battlefield, thinking of whether to give up or killing the enemies. WAHAHA.

My weapons of course, would be my books~ My enemies? MY EXAMINATIONS~ O my!

Don't ever mention that again.

It's the last day of the 'pasar malam' at the space opposite century square? For people who lovesssssss 'tutu kueh', MUST be damn sad~ =(

Thinking of the times in 4e5 when i read darling's blog. Those funny moments, those unforgettable moments. How i wish we can go back for one day. Just a day will do, i would surely want to break down the fan in class 4e5 !!! WAHAHA.

Hao ba, stopping here for the post.

05.11.06
Our 9 months is approaching. LOVES!~
I love you, darling.

Its once again, a rainy day.

Rain rain go away!

Its makes us feel so....... COLD! O my, the temperature is really killing me. With my fan on, its really living hell. What more in school? When the classrooms are air conditioned? OMGS! COLD COLD COLD COLD!

Yea, just got some news about cousin. Heard that my uncle is buying him a car when he gets his driving licence. SO FORTUNATE! I don't mind an evo?! Must be out of my senses. DAMN great ars? Never mind, i'm not borned with a silver spoon. For that, I MUST work towards my goal.

I want a house in new zealand~! I want to have a farm where there are cows, sheeps, chickens. Everything! HAHA. Plus a shepard to control all the sheeps. THAT's LIFE!

Computer programming lab test suck . Really suck~! Imagine you only hear the banging sound of the MOUSES! Everyone got the same reaction. I tell you guys more about the process.

1. Type the fcuking long codes. e .g static void blah blah blah.

2. Compile the program to check whether it works.

3. Praying hard that the phrase "Process completed" comes out.

4. Lines of errors come out!

5. BANG THE MOUSE HARD!

6. PRESS BACKSPACE ON THE KEYBOARD HARD HARD.

7. Last but not least, All the foul words u can ever think of comes out.


HEHE. That was a good explaination ya?

Enough of my craps. I stop here. I will post again. I CONFIRM!


HEHEHE.

Just as i expected, the warning letter came. In a blink of an eye, my heart fell to rock bottom. I didn't get a real thrasing, i just got silence. I just got "You must know how to think" by my mum. It was really really heart-breaking.

Gulit revolves all inside me. Why? Why did i had to do all those? If i slept early the day before, i would to able to get up in the morning wouldn't i? WHY? I'm trying now, i'm really trying hard nowadays to make myself fresh for the morning lessons.

Lets not talk about that.

To my suprise, i found out something. Have you ever think of, some cameras are better than the other. Some handphone cameras even have megapixels up to 3. O my, BUT, whats the best camera in the world that has the most defined resoultion?

Its our naked eye. Isn't it quite true? Have you ever think about how many megapixels does our eye have? We can differenate between a clear photograph and a blur photograph, because we see things too clearly.

O my, maybe its crap.

I think i'll stop here.

My mood is really damn gone. My mum's really damn unhappy today. My brother got into trouble again, AGAIN and again.

.................

Another week of tirenes started today.

Thinking back now, i know what i love about weekends and holidays. I love the late hours i can wake up at. NO WORRIES! WOOHOO.

Projects are coming my way, how to hell am i going to handle them!?

The noise level in my home is getting no far better. Every single day, i have to hear my mum's naggings and rantings. O my, when is this going to stop. Can't these things just stop happening for a day or whatsoever?

Here it goes again. I can't take it. How i wish i can have some peace in my family. Some some will do? Isn't this what i always wished for ?

True love, whats true love? Don't say that you understand true love even before you carry out actions. You lost yourself, your entire self....

Wow, had my labtest today.

What a joke. I took one hour to make the circuits WORK! Can you believe it? This was what that actually gone wrong, I connected my last "gate" output, to the bottom switches of the breadboard!

Some may understand this, HAHAHAHA. I just can't stop laughing at myself. Sorry for some who don't understand this thing, its just a stupid mixed up in directions mistake.

Oh gosh, i missed tutorial TODAY AGAIN! I woke up at 8am when the alarm went off. Without my knowledge, i dozed off again, thinking that i would wake up 15mins later. That's what we always do i supposed?

"Don't tell me you all never do that??? HEHEHE!"

BUT, i was awoke by a call from nigel. The "holy" call that woke me up at 9.13AM!!! Wow, i can't believe my eyes that it was 9 plus. I kept on double-checking, and found out that the hour hand of the clock cant possibly turn back for me.

O MY GOD! I missed maths tutorial FOR THE 4th TIME! What can i do now? Sit back and wait for warning letters is the only only option. HEHE!

Never mind, lets not talk about unhappy things. Lets talk about happy things instead.

We celebrated our 8 months yesterday. BUT! Dun grats me yet, if u are intending to do so. Cause i want to save u some hassle. You think about it, if you guys are going to grats me every single month. You guys have to grats forever! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"Sry, i talk as if everyone is waiting to grats me!"


HEHEHE.


Ok, i shaldn't carry on. See you next time.


LOVES

After what seems like eternity, i'm finally back to blogging.

School is really a bore since two weeks ago. O my, studying is really SO BORING!

Its just going to be another long day tomorrow. It happen such that every tuesday is the worst day i ever had in school. Fortunately, i'm loving java programming more and more. Something strike me and motivates me to listen to the hypnotising teacher in my computer programming lessons.

Isn't that an acheivement. But, good news always comes with bad news.

I failed my enginnering maths. This is going to be a difficult task for me to catch up with. I just can't do well in my maths, from secondary school right up to my tertairy education. I'm slower with numbers, EVEN slower in formulas!

ARGHS. HoW? How on earth am i to survive!!! The tought of retaking the module really freaked me out. I wouldn't want to be seperated from my care group, or rather being later in graduation. Someone! HELP!!

Labtest is awaiting me on friday. I'm really really weak in electric circuits, connecting wires here and there. Wish i can really get through these!

Anyway, wishing my dad "happy birthday". Although celebrating his birthday with just a simple family dinner, the smile on his face expressed that he is contented enough. Once a year, hope our family can do this every single year. ^^

I stop blogging here. I promise to blog more frequent, my dear readers.

HEHE

LOVES!

darling, lots of loves, lots of misses, just for you. Only you.

I miss you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo MUCH!

Thinking of your school reopen, i miss you more more more more...!!!

DARLING~~ STAND BY ME~~~

I LOVE YOU


HUGS AND KISSES.


i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you,
i love you

18 i love you for you darling~~

Its been quite long since i updated my blog.

Seeing darling in this state, my heart was totally shattered. She was too sick, too sick to even talk, to even laugh. The sight of her in this state made me even more depressed. Take care of yourself, darling. Sleep early and drink more water.

We'll go out to have some fun when u recover alright? Take care!!!

How i wish i can be there beside you every minute, every second to take care of you.

Grandma landed herself in a hospital, specifically NUH! Her operation was a success. God bless her.

Time is getting abit too tight up for me. I would always be awake early in the morning by my brother or even my parents. It started all on friday. I was awaken early in the morning at 10am by drilling sounds.

Even on Saturday, i can't have a late morning sleep. I was awoke at 8am by my brother and my dad quarreling. O my, guess how was the scene like?

On Sunday, i was then awaken by my parents again. They were shouting their lungs out , "Wake up , grandma is in danger. She may pass away anytime." After a rushing bath, a phone call came and said it was a false alarm.

O MY!

DARLING, take care of yourself. I'll always be there. Rest well. Waiting for your recovery! ^^

Loves051106

MUACKS

7 months ago, a promise of eternity begun.

Time flies, but our love, was always there.

Keeping up with the time, never letting it be behind time.

These 7 months, although up and downs were frequent.

Our love always help us surpass these obstacles.

Darling, i found a better me,

I found my goal in life,

I found out whats love by your presence.

Without you,

I'm totally nothing.

Without you,

i wouldn't be able to love.

Without you,

My colours of life would only be black and white.

Your presence brought me to paradise.

Your presence brought me to somewhere i never been before.

Your presence made me understand more about life.

I know you are the one for me.

Darling, i love you.

Happy seven months!





HER feifeii HIS baobeixx LOVES for eternity

05.11.06

hUgs AND kIsses

"Tick","Tick","Tick"

A common sound heard late in the middle of the night. The clock's hands, moving to another second, another minute, another hour.

Here i am, sitting in front of my computer, deep in thoughts. I'm afraid, I'm really worried. I'm worried that you would be so tensed up. I'm worried that you would be so tire out. I'm worried that you would be so stressed.

Darling, I'm really willing to help you in your problem, no matter how stress it gets for me. I want you to share your feeling with me, keeping it inside oneself is not what you always do. I know you care, you don't want me to get stressed.

But, but, I'm more stressed when i see you in this state. So quiet, so tired mentally.

Darling, i'm always here.

iloveyou.
Loves

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maths makes me really dizzy.

Term test, term test.

Drawing nearer and nearer. Confidence = 0%.

I still need to refer to the book now and then to do my questions.

So much for my revisions, it really sucks.

I really hope to score well. I really really do want to get good results.

Term test is coming nearer and nearer. A few more days away. O my, maths makes me really crazy.

I'm really crazy now. Functions after vectors after martices after Equations.

Maths, you really suck!

I got back my maths test quiz. Can't imagine i really failed it because of careless mistakes. These are really painful mistakes.

How i wish i can burn the paper!

Poly life, difficult life to survive in. But, hopefully, i got to know some peeps who are so fun loving!

Thanks alot guys.


Wahaha. Going out with darling tomorrow! Shopping??? WAHAHA.

I love you lots~~~~~darling.

A mistake made, an eternal pain.

This phrase, totally made me speechless.

Its my mistake.

But, but, all my buts.

When can she ever wake up from her dream?

Leaving the past behind,

Carry on with her life?

I once taught that she has a high maturity level.

But,but, but.

It totally disappointed me.

Why? Why?

Can this be taken away?

Can it? For once and eternity?

Wake up, can? Please.



Anyway, fucking pissed off nowadays. School is making me really crazy. I was entertained by idiots who's boasting about his/her o levels results.

12 compared to a 21. I'm the 21 for sure. I regret for not having good results in o's. What i got? Was a stupid remark, "You have no choice but to come here, but i have a choice."

Totally pissed off. I'm fuming with anger when i saw that phrase. O my, and this dumb still carry on by saying he's TRYING to act stupid.

My fucking god, what the heck is that man?

Am i that inferior to you just by the judge of the o level results?

Fucking hell.

Something struck me when darling and i were having our dinner at the coffeshop near prime supermarket.

Anyone watced the tv commercial on the new beverage "anything" and "whatever"? O my, its really creative. Who will ever think about we having a beverage call anything? "Anything" is a new canned drink that consists of carbonated drinks like coke, root bear....

"Whatever" on the other hand is a canned drink that consitsts of non-carbonated drinks like green tea, ice lemon tea...

You wont know what you are going to be drinking until the moment u open ur can and taste or even smell the drink in it.

O my, this idea is really really creative! Woosh!

Moving into the new era of innovation. The company that manufactured and invented this is actually call "out of the box pte ltd". They're really thinking out of the box. Creative! Three cheers to you guys!

Check them out at www.anything.com.sg.

I got a root beer in my anything while darling got a green tea.

Try it! It's just so great!

The first moment, we started to learn how to stand on our feet. We fell once, we fell twice, we fell many times until we finally learnt the process of walking.

But why? Why? Why when we grow up, we forget everything about the walking process? Why do we always fall to our setbacks, our failures. Why cant we climb up and learn from our failures?

Fear? Agony? Regret? If we were determined to set something right, would these three words distract us? Would these three words cast a obstacle to us? Would these three words need to be repeated three times?

Wow, i had a long time figuring out blogger.

Happy six months my dearest baobeix!

I'm sorry for today. I'm so caught up in work that i even have to tell you happy six months in advance! I'm really sorry.

Darling, I really cherish the times we always spend together. Looking forward to go out with you later!

Wooohoo. PENG GAN! Baobeix. You're forever minE!

I love you.
05.11.06
Ivan-and-eileenn.

Our never ending road.
The perfect lovers.

I came up with a theory. A theory i never ever been exposed before.

Darling would be mad at me for this post! Wahahaa.

My theory today is "Sadness always come before happiness".

Imagine yourself mugging for an exam, how bitter do you feel? How much do you wish to break free? Move to the next scene, You got yourself your examination results. You scored good grades, you jumped with joy. How happy do you feel? Its your effort and your "sadness" that made you achieved that good grades.

Isn't this sadness before happiness?

Likewise, this is more pratical. You came out of your mum's tummy, the first thing you do is CRY! =( Sadness begets us the first day we step into this world. Have you ever heard of others saying, "Your first laughter symbolises your birth?" or rather "Your first cry symbolises your birth".

O my, isn't my theory great. It came with evidence, and darling, hors! You must be thinking what am i thinking. I love you! WOOOHOOO!!

Anyway, i got two complimentary tickets for shaw cinemas. Wow, its unexpected, but its free. You guys must be thinking how i got the tickets? I just passed on a feedback to shaw online and i was being told that i had a pair of tickets as an extend in apology.

Hey! BUT, i didn't feedback just to get the tickets OK!.

Shaw, you rocks! WOOOHOO.

Darling, our 6 months! Its coming near, i'm just excited as you are. Remember our satay PENG GAN! I love you.!

05.11.06

Went out with darling today. Caught spiderman3 on the first day of its opening! Wow, we were damn lucky for sure. A great show, worth to watch. Its also the first time i caught spiderman digital in a cinema. The show was like 2 hrs and 20mins.

One bloody thing is that, the cinema at bugis really really suck. The sound system cocked up, during the middle of the show, the cinema was disturbed by some irritating cracking sounds. O my, we were damn irritated.

Tomorrow is just another school day, how i wish the holiday would be much longer. Much much longer i hope. School just make me tired, not because of the hours, but because of the subjects. Java really suck big time, big big time indeed.

It just numerous lines of codes with stupid things like " ' ; ... Wow, Java really makes me mad, making me real crazy.

Tomorrow lessons, i love it. No labs. Slippers to school! YEAH.

Darling, sorry for today. I hope you love the movie today. Love you lots. 05.11.06 -------> 1314.

Wahahaha, our six months. 4 more days.!!!! WOOOHOO.

Just another Sunday flew past.

Was working the whole morning, from 9 till 6. Who even predicted i got a scolding from my manager just the minute i reached work.

Pratically, who cares.

Anyway, after work. I came back to tampines to meet darling. She was just home from a big big big big big bombastic dinner treat. O my, "mongolian chicken". My saliva was dripping all onto the ground as soon as i heard that. How i wish, the chicken could stuff into my mouth.Wahahaha.

We went to eat some waffle hot dogs, after which we went to big bookshop. We sneaked into big bookshop knowing that they were actually closing. The truth is, we did it on purpose. Our motto, "Not to let them do their settlements, sales reports." Wohoooo.

They switched off their lights and we had to go no matter what. O my, what service they got!

Went over to prime supermarket below to shop. We were just crazily walking around like what typical singaporeans do. We squeezed apples, steal long beans. Wahahaha. We came to see this particular chocalate which we love it alot.


Our heart shape chocolate.

After that we bought each of us a yan yan. WOW! We asked each other questions posted on the yan yan biscuit.


Dear asked me this question, "an amphibiant". Immediately, i named frog.!!! WOohoo. Dear was so angry. She kept asking me, " How you know?

Haha, i'm clever alright. Had a real fun day, i name sunday our "yan yan day!"

School started about a week ago, to be exact, five days ago.

Friday, the last day of school for the weekend. I felt so restless when i woke up early in the morning. The thought of not going to school, revolved in my head. Somehow influenced by the devil inside me, somehow not.

I managed to got myself up after 15 more minutes of sleep. It was then i headed to school with the most uncomfortable feeling. School, school, school. I almost slept in the engine maths lecture this morning.

Till now, i'm still figuring out what the hell is "matrices".

Real tired, really tired.

I wish for a good rest on labour day.

Woke up quite early in the morning. Went to changi general hospital to visit my mum. She was hospitalized after a check up at the clinic yesterday.

Never once, i seen her being hospitalized. Never once, i seen her like that before. Never once, i regretted this much before.

I stepped into the hospital, i tried to recall the ward she was in to give her a surprise. But, i totally forgotten the ward number. I had to call my mum to ask, " Ma, your ward is what number ar?".

The first thing she replied wasn't her ward number, but it was... "You never work today?" After which, she said her ward number. She was still worrying about me even in her condition like that. I truly felt the pain in my heart.

I took the lift and went up to her ward and walked in straight to her bed. Some nurses were there helping her to install a packet of blood. They also injected a needle into her hand, how pain was it. Her face frowned for a second, it was painful, certainly it is.

I couldn't look straight into her eyes, seeing her in this state, my eyes teared. My eyes were almost red when i see her relieved face after the needle had gone through.

I sat beside her, i chatted with her. She is still reminding me of what our house is lacking in, and if we were having our meals without her cooking.

I couldn't take it, i cling on to my cell phone, i looked elsewhere. I just couldn't think of how much i hurt her when i'm often quarreling with her.

Her face is just so pale lying on the hospital bed. My heart was falling an inch as the packet of blood was dripping a little by a little. The pain she's going through, why didn't i take the time to understand her.

Visiting hours were over, i also had to rush to work. I left, with a goodbye. I left, after helping her replenish her water. I left, after i told her to take care of herself. I left, with tears in my eyes.

I walked into the lift, tears were dripping. I was indeed guilty about the things i've done. I was indeed guilty about the nonsense i gave.

Mum, take care of yourself... Without you, i dunno if i can survive on being independent. Without you, i dunno if i can carry on with my life like that. Without you, i'm nothing.

Darling, take care of yourself also. You're tired after a long day of schooling. I miss you alot too. I'm so looking forward to see you tomorrow. Darling, i love you lots. Now and for eternity. 05.11.06.

What a family i got, all i got. My singnet bill came today, not knowing what was actually happening, i picked up my phone and got a thrasing.

I remained speechless, i didn't actually got the chance of knowing, what was going on. Why? Can't we just explain things nicely? I reached home, first thing i got was nagging. Why? Am i always in the wrong?

Are parents always right? They asked me for respect, but did anyone in my family gave me respect? Just a little bit of that? We can have mutual respect, can't we?

I'm always wrong? I didn't went to sign my singnet bill? Am i wrong? It's not about the bill signing. Its that, my father insisted on going to singtel himself to sign the recontract? But what now? What's happening now?

I get the scolding? I deserve that? FUCK it man.

FUCK IT, FUCK You IDIOT.

I don't deserve a scolding when i did nothing wrong at all.

I work, they want the money. Never did i not ask a single cent from them when i go out, i still need to save for my bus fare.

My mum asked me, "so, how when you get your pay?" I have to give them every single cent? I need to pay for my bus fares, my own accessories, etc. I don't even have the money to buy my own things, i don't even dare to eat more when i'm out.

In their minds, they were thinking "who cares?". How i wish i can explain to them, how many things i wish to buy. How many things that i wish to have.

Nothing, i got nothing at all.

All i got, is nothing but a fucking family.

Went to bugis to watch meet the robisons today. Nice movie, but somehow not realistic.

The characters inside the movie are damn cute, especially the dino "tiny". We just cant stop laughing when the dino said, "I have a big head, but tiny hands. I don't know if this plan is through."

O my, it was damn funny. Especially frankie the frog! Darling certainly love the frog singing, "Oh yes, i can hear you from the snack line, chewing on the popcorn like its buffet time."

That movie may be imaginary, but its nice. "Keep moving forward" is the main motto of the movie. It means keep on trying whenever we fail in doing something.

From defeat, we learn. From defeat, success is nutured. Walt disney's movies always comes with a simple motto, which we can actually apply it in our daily lives.

Just came home from a musical, nice musical indeed. Although i didn't pay for it, but $20 for that is really worth it.

All the hard work, the crew put in. All the laughters throughout the show. A wonderful finale, wonderful closing. Excellent dance steps, everything is just so great.

Work is really tiring me out. Morning shift, waking up at 8 o clock for two entire days. I woke up with a real bad headache this morning. My head was as if it was cracking at any point of time. How i wish i can skip work for the day.

I pulled myself out of bed for a shower, after which, went to meet derrick and headed for work. All we do there is, "hi! pepsi for your drink?, sweet or salted for your popcorn?"

These two phrases are making me sick! Hope i can make it through.

I was asking shenny and darling about dxo and all kinds of clubbing places. I feel so dumb, i never ever step into those places before. Underage parties, ladies night, ... All these names sounds so attracting, but i have not seen it for myself once.

I'm so curious, curious to the extend that i wish to have a look for myself whats the commotion is like in clubs. One day, i would go! wahahahaha.

I'm going on a diet! I want to wear those medium sizes clothes again!

School is starting in another two weeks, excited yet not. All our 5-6 months of holiday,its gone just like that. 23th of april, o my. Whats poly life like? Its been long time since i held a pen and a calculator.

I'm expecting a brand new studying environment.

Take care everyone.

My darling, happy 5 months.

Its been such a blessing with you by my side always. I always feel so safe, so secure with you around. Whenever i'm down, i'm fustrated, you would be there. Sorry for all the temper i casted on you when i get really stressed. I love you, i always do. We belong together.

No matter what happens. We would go through every obstacle together. No matter what happens, i'll stay by your side. Darling, i love you. Without you, my world would not be perfect. Without you, my morning would be dark. Without you, i would have no emotions, i would not have the ability to speak. I love you, for now till eternity.

Tomorrow, tomorrow is the day. My last day at lido! WOOHOO!

Wow, working working and working. Shag shag and really shag.

I really miss you, i really really miss you.

I walked back home after having quite a late dinner with darling. Something flew into my mind. We're just racing against time each and every single day of our lives.

Why? Why do we have to pace up our footsteps. Why do we have to rush to so many places. Why are the hands of the clocks moving while time is ticking away.

Time, in a chinese proverb, time is comparable to gold. Gold can be earned, gold can be produced, gold can be recycled. While time, it cant be turned back.

Tide doesn't wait for any man. Money can't buy time. Time is just priceless.

Why? Why is time priceless? Why can't we have all the time in the world. Why can't we control when time stops, when time move. WHYY!!!

There are so many priceless things, in the world of ours. Just like the mastercard advertistment. They showed, learning a lesson, priceless. But for anything else, theres mastercard.

Even they admit, there are some things in the world money can't buy.

Cherish every single thing around you, cherish every lesson learnt. Cherish every opportunities. Cherish every person. You may not know, they're priceless.

Wow, just started first day at work yesterday. It was great, but tiring for sure.

thanks darling for waiting for me till around 11.30. O my, how bad i was to let her wait 2 hours.

sorry! =)

School is approaching, ARgH!

SIAN!

Darling, I'm really sorry for my attitude.

I'm really apologetic.

What comes to me is that, i just need to have a change in myself.

Finally got a job, hope its at bugis with darling.

O my, its just so great to work in the same place with her.

I love her!

Now and ever.

blogging after quite a period of time.

Posting passed.

Everything passed.

God, i would like to send my request to you.

Please, please let dear get into her buisness application, or even supply chain management in republic polytechnic.

God, i beg you of this, i really beg you of this. Take something away from me if you wish to, just let her get into these courses please.

I saw her passion in wanting those courses. I saw it with my own eyes. Her marks aren't hopeless, her marks are 6 marks above the courses' cut off points.

Please god, i beg you.

I really really beg you. Please, seriously please.

Ya, i got into the course that i want. Things turned out to let me feel that i'm not that happy after all.

I do not want her to be sad, at all times.

I just want her to look happily as ever, i want her to look on the bright side.

The world hasn't fall upon her, she's such an angel.

But why? Why is this happening to her?

Why? Why? God please tell me why.

Take away everything from me, i just love her. I really really love her.

God, i really beg of you.

GOD! PLEASE.

Birthday just ended in an instant !!!

18 years old! woohoo. Looking forward to my 21 now!

Thanks dear for the card, wallet and the cake !

everything she bought for me is just so cute, everything she bought is just so nice to look at.

Dear i love you!!! ForEVer!! AND EVER.

its our 4 months! wahahahahahahaha.

one month after another, we can last this forever. for sure!!!

Dear, i just love you. so much that i wan to hold u tight in my arms every single moment of my life.

Our 4e5 bbq, can't everyone make it?

Some told me they are bored, some are working, while some ? secondary 1 camp.

Its such a disappointment, our last gathering, i hope everyone can just turn up for the bbq event.

We would have fun throughout isn't it? Its just a day, even if you guys are coming later, feel free to!

You're invited any time!!!

OnCE again, dear !!! i love you just thissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss times 10 to the power of infinity.

I love you....!!!

05.11.06

i love you, certainly to the end of time.!!!

Its been quite a period since i ever touch blogging. Maybe because of my empty mind, or maybe because of my laziness.

I have so many thoughts in my mind that i do not actually know which oneto start with.

Anyway, 4e5 bbq is set on the 10th of march. I hope that everyone would turn up for the bbq. The venue would be at pasir ris park, the dress code would be our 4e5 t shirt with any bottoms. $10 would be collected by me or eileen, any extra cash would be return to the everyone.

Everyone, do not panic, do not worry. I'm a budget person. I would always find the cheapest food on earth. I would try my very best to stick to the budget. Trust me guys, there would be cash remaining.

Its been a pleasure to fetch dear from work. We would always stop at bedok mrt station to take bus 67 or 28 to reach her house's bustop. O my, how i wish life could be like that forever. I missed her so much every single day, but i also can't bear to see her tire out.

I miss her, i really really do.

I wish i could see her every single day, every single moment. I wish to stay like this till the end of my life.

Life is such a blessing with her by my side. Life is such a blessing thinking of her every single moment.

My love for her would never die, not even till the last breath of my life.

Currently waiting for the polytechnic posting, i really hope i can get into the course that i have chosen. Appealing is really a hassle, and appealing doesn't let me have the 100% chance of getting the course that i want.

I wish, i wish.



05.11.06, it will keep playing and never stop.

My love for you, would never die.

I love you, eileen goh.!!!!

Please, please.


JusT shut up.

Childish freak. i had enough. I'm painful, how much i feel like slapping you to wake u up.

Two more days, just two more days.

The results are coming out. That piece of paper decides my entire future. Where i'm goanna go, where i'm goanna study.

Nervous, i'm really nervous. I'm afraid, i'm real afraid.

I don't even know what if i'm going to flunk my o levels. I wasted an entire year.

Wasting another year again is certainly not a very attracting policy to me.

Did i prepare well for the o's?

I only know, i made too much carless mistakes which is going to take so many marks away from me.

I just hope to get into a decent course in a polytechnic, thats all.

Friday, lets wait for it to come.

I had it.

I had it.

I had it.

I had it.

I had it.

I had it.

i just can't speak a word.

i just can't.

I seriously can't stop thinking of what actually happened yesterday. I trust you more than anyone else, but the fact of what is appearing infront of me yestedrday night frightened me.

I didn't saw a ghostly being, i didn't saw or hear or even touch anything that made me afraid. I just, i just...

Lets get away from this topic, was reading some blogs when i actually came to this word. "Integrity", this word had been out of my mind since i started to work. One job after another, i am never responsible for it.

I questioned myself with a big big " Why?". I couldn't find the answer. I feel tired after every job i been through. I just can't suit myself in an environment. Although mini toons is quite an attracting working environment, but but, somehow there are other factors to consider when you conclude something as great.

Hadn't been blogging often nowadays, nothing strikes my mind to let me blog.



I love you, i really really do. 05.11.06

My blog has turned almost stale.

Never mind, who cares. I'm here to save it.

I just hope that i would no fall asleep ever again, i had a nightmare just this morning. That nightmare was terrible, real terrible. I don't want to ever dream of it again. I'm real afraid, really afraid.

Pls, don't ever let it occur again. Even when i start to type my post, my mother is beside me nagging at my phone bills, etc. I on the verge of not able to take it anymore further. The stress my family gives, is certainly making my head more and more giddy.

Why can't they understand me a little. I need a peaceful environment, i hate those rantings, i hate those naggings. This home, is it real suitable for me to live in? I doubt so.

I can't take it, i seriously can't. They asked me why i treated my home like a hotel. I said nothing. My heart was urging me say, " I don't like the environment here ".

I kept quiet everytime being asked, i know i would hurt them. I know that my mum won't like it if i answered this way. I'm always so irritated when i'm shouted at by them. Every single change of their tone in speaking can cause my temper to blow.

Fcuk this home of mine, fcuk it.

Last 1.5 hours of my precious birthday !!! Hope she love the surprise, uploaded some pictures into my computer.
She and her birthday wish, *wonders* whats her wish?

*WOOSH* the candle is blown!

After which, we chatted a little and decided to do some stupid things with pearl's shades!!

Saturday night fever!!!! It should be birthday night fever! wahahaha

WE!

I was so late today, i met dear at 2 o clock ! but i raeched at around 2.35, my apologies. I overslept! I'm so sorry!

I can't sleep yesterday until it was like around 7 or 8 in the morning, my gosh!!! i'm really really sorry for my late today wahaahaa.

Went to bugis, its so lively there ya? So many of our friends are working at the same place. Dear - 1st floor, steph - 2nd floor, sijie - 3rd floor, deerick - 4th floor.

After some time, we search for v8 movie cafe! We walked past burnsberry and billy bombers, found that there was not even a single soul inside the resturaunt.

Dear started to giggle and say, " wow, you're so good, booked the whole resturaunt for me? " wahahhahahahaha. I also "pei he" and join in the fun. I replied, " yeah, isn't this so sweet of me to do that?"

We burst into laughter, she made my day so good just by a single smile of hers.

Finally found v8, and she taught me social edi.... . I really don't know how to spell that word. I then found out that, i was so barbaric when i'm eating!!! WAHAHAHAHA, this was what happened.

I was cutting the well done sirlon steak, it was so so so so hard as if it was a rock. How i wish i can just take the whole piece of stupid cow meat to bite.

Pouring chilli sauce also needs manners, i was almost on the vege of shaking the chilli sauce bottle so hard wahahahahahaa. Like how we do it at home. LOL


She and her root bear ice cream float!!

Me and my sirlon steak, shirley temple and corn soup.

Looking at something? Finding something?

Had a really great day with her, seeing her smiling so sweetly makes my day better. She's my angel. Hope she enjoyed today and the static charge that i kept occupying her with. Last but not least, the dark chocolate with the plaster on the forhead. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Thanks for today, i love you.

05.11.06, it will play and never stop.

-hUgs-AND-kIsses-

MUACKS!!!!

Once again, happy birthday!

HAppy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to dear dear! Happy birthday to you!!!

wahahaha, love the surprise i gave? But i think u're not shocked le! Every year i say i forget to buy your present, this year you become smarter le wors!

17 years old, you must be more more more mature wors!!!

no matter what, i love you!!! WAHAHAHAA

Countdown, one last day to my precious 17th BIRTHDAY!!!!

WOOHOO!!!! WTH, shes going to be the same age as me, in a matter of few hours.

Just a few hours! But well, i going to be OLDER in a matter of a few months time.

Excited aren't i?

wahahahaha, i'm goanna give her a big surprise !!!!

SHH, i can't say out! wahahahahahahahahhhaha

Had fun every single day just by gaming with dear. Our favourite game, gunbound! I just love playing gunbound with her, although i'm just a noob like what she said. I admit it, i admit it.

This was what actually happened when we were playing. I randomed dragon as my mobile, dear must be drooling at what i got as my mobile. It has been so long that she ever randomed "dragon". The cutest mobile in gunbound.

I started to boast about my dragon and told her, "dragon is only meant for the cute people". Of course, i'm implying myself as the "CUTE" person who got the dragon. Who knows, dear got dragon in the second round.

O my, wasn't i so unlucky? But, we had fun playing that game. Its so called a technical shooting game. Try it, it may seemed lame. Who knows whether you will get adicited to it?

www.gunbound.net

My apologies to dear, she did not get the watch that she wanted so much. We were browsing so many watch's shops around bugis street. She saw what she wanted, but didn't got it. Actually i really don't mind wearing that! I'm gay, aren't i? I'm proud to be one! wahahahaha.

How? God tell me how can i savage the situation at home? I'm not living in a home thats well-to-do. The point is, i have no complains at all. I'm not rich, my house is real poor.

We have to struggle to make ends meet. But who cares? I don't yearn for living in the lap of luxury, i just want a home. A real home, a home that i can share my problems with my family. A home that have no quarrels, a home of understanding.

I don't mind getting lesser money than others weekly. I don't mind you not giving me extra cash to buy what i want. I just want some care, i want some concern, i want and i need some understanding.

I'm sorry to make you sad everyday, i'm real sorry. Have you ever think that, my heart hurts even more, when you actually say i'm spending so much of your money. If i were to do that, i would ask for cash whenever i go out.

I do not even have the extra cash to buy new clothes like what others do. I have no complains, i like this life i'm having now and i think that i'm contented. I just need understanding, i need your understanding, mum.







Your smile everyday, engenders the happiness within me.

I love you, 05.11.06.

It will play and never end, till the end of time.

ARGH ! i just cant seemed to think of anything to blog

Tears rolled down while i was working, its neither tears of sadness nor tears of joy. Rather, its tears of regret. It didn't roll down my cheeks, but it slip past my heart. My heart was crying as if it was in pain, real pain.

I wondered why didn't i cherish school life, i wondered why didn't i cherish the times that we had to do homework. I wondered why did we complain when the teacher actually gave us too many homework. All these thoughts were at the back of my head.

Working 10 hours per day is surely not a fun thing to do as compared to staying 6 hours in school. We grumble, that our hours in school are too long. We often hope that the o levels will pass as soon as possible. We often cling on to our hopes, but who ever thought, in the society out there, working is such a sucky thing to do every single day in our lives.

How i wish sometimes time will turn back to where we came from, our secondary school. We entered it as innocent little kids, we came out of the school as typical teenagers. The place where our minds grow, the place where everything is just so simple.

I'm quitting no matter what. 10 hours of work every single day is defienetly a suckiest thing to do in life. I want to spend my time with my precious. I would, and i will give her an entire suprise tomorrow.

I dun just cherish important dates with you. I cherish every single day with you, as every single day with you is as important. I love you, i seriously seriously do. Just this love, just the two of us. 05.11.06, it will play and never stop.

I love you, my precious. x__Darling__and__Dear__x

-hugs-and-kisses-!

It's been long time since i ever got the "mou shui" to blog.

Blogging is such a hassle to me nowadays, i just cant seemed what can i blog to impress my readers.

But,

I promise, i will blog tomorrow!

Went to the mini toons interview today, wonder if i can actually get the job!

Dear got red earth's job!! Welcome abroad is such a nice phrase to hear, i envy it sooooooo much!!!

W0rk well, remember to take care of yourself at the very same time.

ARGHHHH! I wan a job! I love my brother, i love you!!!! wahahahaha.

05.11.06, it will play and never stop......................

As promised, i would blog more TOMORROW.













We can strike lottery ! We can! We sure can!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA. MONEy face!!!

Consalation -- 60 dollars
Starters --- 250 dollars
3rd prize -- duno?
2nd prize -- DUno?
1ST PRIZE!!!! --- $2000!!!!!!

WAHAHAHAHA.

The last few peaceful moments of 2006, was shattered by the penetrating screams by everybody in the world, who are all ready to welcome 2007.

Every single year, everyone around the year would countdown to the following year. Very few would ever recollect of what they learnt from the previous year, what they did wrong in the previous year, or even what they think is benifical in the previous year.

2006, i learnt alot. Thanks for the experience that life gave me every single year. It was thrilling yet "saddening". I grew up every year, to become a better person for myself and for others.

At 11.50pm, central park was as quiet as a cemetry. Not even a single soul can be found, even there is, they would not be in large groups like what central park would be. It was entirely a place that peace can be found, where minds can relax, where everything was such a pleasant sight.

Managed to get home punctually at 12am, 2007. Channel 5 broadcasted the live count down from vivo city. The celebreties were asked for their new year resolution, carrers and health were mentioned.

For mine, my resolution would be be with you and my bunch of friends forever. I'm looking real forward to the 2008 countdown with you. I haven't lost my intution in blogging, i'm just pure lazy, i'm real lazy.

Lets bury up what happened today and seek for a better tomorrow. Promise me that, love you lots. I really really need you.

HAPPY new year everyone !