Just This Love, 051106

Currently in the school computer lab doing my f and n coursework, today is deadline for my o level's coursework. The point is i don't feel a shit of urgency at all. Was restless the whole day, felt so tired, felt so moody, felt like the world was crumbling on me.

I lost an important friend, not literally, but in terms of character. Where is she? Am i changing or is she changing rather? I don't felt that i have actually changed, but i can sense that the attitude you have towards me is really temperate.

Ya, if i'm really that hated in your eyes, then i wont bother you anymore. I know, i know that you are joking, but like you said, i'm sensitive. Hate me if you want to,but that few words of yours really left a scar inside that fragile heart of mine.

Why? Why? Tell me why? Deep in your heart you know yourself, what for? I know you love to care about people's welfare before you care about yours. But think of what you can actually help when you are in this state of despair yourself.

Be honest with your heart, george washington cut down a tree and instead of getting scolded. He was praised by his father. He became the first american president in history. Its not a matter of becoming an important person, its about having the importance of oneself. Who loves to live with a stressed out heart?

Making every step of your life heavily, as if your legs are weighing a ton? Find her back, please, i beg of you. I cannot take the mutation in you, and its you. I spend my sleep thinking of what had actually happen. From yesterday night of endless thinking, i deduce that i actually know the answer, but the answer would be inside me.

Dun ever abduct this friend of mine please, shes once my friend, shes always my friend. I want the times when we used to joke around together, play together, went through the thick and thins together, cried together, blowing our trumpets to each other together. I wan those times back, no matter what. No matter what price it takes.

I'm willing to pay, i'm willing. I give you my word for it. Just like my world is never complete without her, my world is never complete without my bunch of cliques around me. You are one my most important clique. I want to have yourself back, as much as i love to have her back.

I already lost one person that i love, i don't want to lose a friend, i'm serious, real serious. I seemed to miss everything now. Time seemed to stop right now, memories flowing in the head of mine. I start to miss everything. I miss 020706, i miss it.

Tears of loneliness started to flow out from my heart, i felt all alone, all alone here. I'm here without everything, it seemed so true, it seemed so true. Me, in a state of solitariness, do not wish even to open this mouth of mine to say anything.

I'm afraid that i would speak out the wrong language that would make you stress or unhappy, but i'm real afraid, afraid that you would never return. I would hold on to the times of 020706. I'll be there.